lightningbeetle | Continuations for Mistletoe

((from here))

I still like you. Still want you. But I can't. [should probably let you go now but he doesn't want to yet]

Edited 2012-07-02 23:00 (UTC)

Oh. [ she doesn't quite know what to say to that. her brain kind of went BZZT ]

[no one has told you. he can tell because you're not saying anything about it] You still don't know about it?

No? I was really busy these past few weeks so I didn't really have time to talk to anyone. Andy Warhol also got sick because he got out of his cage somehow and ate something bad for him.

[now he's going to let you go, putting some distance between them]

That week when I went crazy, you weren't the only person I hurt. On the first day, I made your brother angry at me when I told him how I treated you. We fought and he won, knocking me out with a kick. Unfortunately, that made me mad and when I saw him again, it was when I had that need to kill people.

[ uh oh, this reminds her of when eiji went berserk too & killed her brother, but she's going to keep silent & let you continue on ]

He approached me and immediately I went after him. I did more then just injure him. I kept telling him how I would come after you, hurt you, and he kept pleading for me not to. [staring down at his hands] In the end, I killed him.

[ oh dear. she was right. & sure it hurts to know oniichan got killed but there's so much more to the situation than just that & she knows it ]

[ so she takes a deep breath to sort of settle her feelings before she talks ]

It hurts, but I don't blame you. I didn't blame Eiji-kun when he did that too. I can't blame people who didn't ask for these things to happen to them and I can't blame people who feel horrible about what they did out of their control.

I just want everyone to feel better about it someday, that's all. You should talk to Eiji-kun, though. He's been there before so he probably has better advice for you.

I know you don't. Shingo-san doesn't blame me either. Ankh doesn't as well.

I did talk to him. [small smile, remembering the things eiji told him] He supports the decision I made about us but on the belief that it's only going to be like this for a while and went on to say why I'm good enough for you. However, I don't really think I am.